There is a strange phenomenon that happens when you start having sex that no one is talking about.
The phenomenon is that you think you are invincible.
You think nothing can touch you because you are sexually liberated and feel so in tune with your body that you forget that having sex is actually super risky.
Sex is amazing. It feels great; it burns calories and makes you comfortable in your skin, but unfortunately, we are not taught how to have safe sex in this country.
We are taught to avoid sex until marriage, and then we can deal with it as if it needed to be avoided at all cost.
But as we have seen, avoiding sex and not talking about it has become a problem.
People don’t know how to have safe sex and don’t really care to. They know the risk but don’t care. My guess is because they don’t understand the magnitude of having an undiagnosed STI or unplanned pregnancy.
And pretending that these things are inconsequential or something to be dealt with later won’t make the facts disappear.
Sex is great, and I want you to continue having it for a long time. To do that, you need to learn how to have safe sex.
Contrary to popular belief, safe sex doesn’t mean boring sex. It means fewer things to think about and getting to enjoy the moment more.
So if you’re ready, let’s learn how to have great safe sex!
What is a Safe Sex Strategy?
If you have read any of my blog posts, you may have scrolled past the term: Safe Sex Strategy, once or twice.
Now I have not seen anyone else use this term, so I am trademarking it.
In essence, a Safe Sex Strategy (SSS for short) is your gateway plan to having safer sex.
It is something that YOU do each time to ensure your sexual health.
It helps you have safer sex while minimizing your risk to exposure of STIs and some one-stands devil spawn.
An example would be to bring condoms to every dick appointment you go to or getting tested before and after sleeping with a new partner.
But more on how to choose a Safe Sex Strategy that works for you later.
Why Do I Need A Safe Sex Strategy?
You may be wondering, “well, why do I need a Safe Sex Strategy?”
And this is a great question! You need an SSS because you want to protect yourself and your body.
See, your sexual health is a part of your overall wellbeing, but it’s often neglected.
We forget that sex while fun is risky, and you need a plan in place, so you don’t have to deal with consequences in the aftermath.
If the pandemic taught us anything, it’s that our health comes down to us and should not be put in the hands of others.
So if you care about yourself, your body and want to continue having sex, you’re going to need one.
Think of it as preventive care. Nothing has happened yet, and we want to keep it that way.
How to Implement A Safe Sex Strategy
You need to analyze two main components before choosing a Safe Sex Strategy: Budget & Lifestyle.
Budget
Here you need to consider how much money you have.
This can be the difference between affording condoms or the Plan B pill.
Or maybe you are lucky and have really great insurance that will cover the cost of the birth control pill or an IUD.
So look at it and be honest.
If you are in high school, you probably got like $10 to your name, so condoms it is.
Or maybe you just got a really great job with benefits, so now you can take a trip to a gynecologist to talk about your options.
Lifestyle
A Safe Sex Strategy is something that fits your life and needs.
So you need to consider the type of lifestyle you have.
- Are you someone who travels a lot?
- Do you have consistent access to a doctor?
- Do you have a steady-paying job?
- Can your body handle hormones, or would you prefer not to add any extra hormones?
- What kind of people do you have sex with? One-night stands or long-term relationships?
- Will it interfere with your life?
- Side note: Just because your partner wants you to go on a hormonal contraceptive because they no longer want to wear condoms doesn’t mean you have to. Going on any contraceptive that requires an invasive procedure or changes your body chemistry can alter many aspects of your life. It is not something that should be taken lightly. Plus, it’s YOUR BODY! Don’t let anyone tell you what to do with it.
Once you have considered these questions and figured out what kind of lifestyle you lead, choosing what will work for you is the easy part.
Related Article: America Hates Abortion, But Why?
Birth Control Methods
Now let’s get into the commonly used methods of birth control. This is only one part of your Safe Sex Strategy, not the whole thing.
We are just considering what options you may have available to you.
I will be going over the most popular forms of birth control that everyone has heard of and skip over the more obscure forms that many people don’t know about.
Suppose you are interested in learning more about all the different types of birth control available and the statistics of effectiveness and cost. In that case, you can click here for a download or here for the link to my blog post, A Beginner’s Guide to Birth Control.
Traffic Light System
I will use the traffic light system to describe which popular methods are best and which are okay. All forms are acceptable, but some are better than others.
Disclaimer: These are my opinions after doing some research and hearing other people’s experiences.
Red = Low protection, so use with caution; require maintenance or unrealistic.
Yellow = Medium protection but not the best; Great options but require maintenance and attention.
Green = High protection; Great options that are one & done.
Red Light
- Pull-out method
- Pre-cum can still get someone pregnant
- Abstinence
- Not realistic for everyone
- Fertility Awareness
- Your hormones can be unpredictable and change up every so often
Yellow Light
- Spermicide
- Irritates genital skin, can cause infections and is not as effective by itself. Must pair it with something else (aka a condom or the BC Pill).
- Condoms (Female & Male)
- Only 85% effective, and people don’t know how to care for them or use them properly, thus lowering their effectiveness.
- Vaginal Ring
- Great option but requires attention on when to put it in and take it out.
- Birth Control Patch
- Great option but requires attention on when to put it on and when to change it.
- Birth Control Pill
- A great option, but you have to be consistent in taking it every day at the same time for full effectiveness.
Green Light
- Condoms (Female & Male)
- They are cheap, and everyone can afford them.
- Birth Control Shot
- Has a high effectiveness rate at protecting against unplanned pregnancies.
- Must go to the doctor’s office every 3 months to get the shot.
- Birth Control Implant
- Has a high effectiveness rate at protecting against unplanned pregnancies.
- Once implanted, you don’t have to think about it again.
- Hormonal IUD
- Has a high effectiveness rate at protecting against unplanned pregnancies.
- Once inserted, you don’t have to think about it again.
- Copper IUD
- Hormone-free birth control with a high effectiveness rate at protecting against unplanned pregnancies.
- Once implanted, you don’t have to think about it again.
- Sterilization
- Very effective at protecting against unwanted pregnancies.
Other Safe Sex Behaviors
Safe sex behaviors are actions that you can take to further protect your sexual health.
While everyone knows about the pull-out method, here are some other behaviors you can think about incorporating:
- Period tracking
- Knowing when you are most fertile helps you avoid having unprotected sex on those days.
- Getting tested before & after each new partner or every 6 months
- Great way to ensure that you are not catching STIs. Also, a great way to make sure that the person you are sleeping with is not lying and is also practicing safe sex.
- Bring condoms to each hookup.
- Girl, guy, man, women, non-binary. I don’t care. If you can get pregnant, or you can get someone pregnant, bring your own condoms. It’s always great to have a backup just in case.
- Bring flavored condoms
- For every one that performs oral sex, bring flavored condoms. The last thing you want to deal with is a yeast infection or an STI in your mouth. Plus, genitals don’t have the best taste and texture, so this helps.
- Pregnancy tests
- If you can get pregnant, it does not hurt to take one every now and then. A pregnancy can sneak up on you. Don’t end up on TLC’s “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant.“
- Not drinking or using drugs before performing sexual acts
- A glass or two is fine. The whole bottle or blunt is not. You want to make sure that the condom is on correctly and there are no rips in it. This can be hard when the room is spinning.
- Regular exams from Doctors
- They will catch everything you don’t, so go.
- Be extra cautious who you perform oral sex on.
- Not everyone deserves a blow job.
- Talking to your partners before sleeping with them about their sexual past
- Have the conversation. It’s better to know that they sleep around than to assume that they have just gotten out of a long-term relationship.
- Emergency Contraceptives
- For emergencies only! Don’t make this THE plan. The more you take them, the less effective they may be, and they aren’t always 100% effective.
Related Article: A Complete List of STDs [Signs, Symptoms, & Cures]
Combine Strategies
Many of the contraceptives that I listed are great for protecting against unwanted pregnancies but not against STIs.
This is why you should double up on methods that protect you from STIs and unplanned pregnancy to make the perfect Safe Sex Strategy for you.
I know, I know it sounds like you would be doing the most but wouldn’t you rather stay safe and know that you are protected than worry about catching something or getting someone pregnant?
So to create your Safe Sex Strategy pick one action from the “Other Safe Sex Behavior” section and, if applicable, one birth control method.
For instance, my Safe Sex Strategy uses a Copper IUD with condoms and water-based lube. To every dick appointment, I go, I bring condoms even though I know the person I am hooking up with has them. As for the lube, I know my body likes it, and I don’t have to worry about it deteriorating the condom. And after every new partner, I get tested. And for added measure, I make the guy pull out as they cum.
It’s a lot, and you don’t have to do it exactly like this, but something along these lines works best.
Safe Sex Strategies to Consider
Here are some pre-made Safe Sex Strategies that you can use and see if they fit your lifestyle:
- The pull-out method combined with condoms & getting tested every 6 months.
- Spermicide mixed with pull-out method
- IUD or some form of birth control mixed with getting tested post hookup
- Some form of hormonal birth control combined with a weekly pregnancy test
- Fertility Awareness mixed with condoms
The combinations that can be made are endless, so try different things and see what works best for you!
Finding What is Right For You
Making up your own Safe Sex Strategy can take time and some trial and error.
Let’s say you want to go on the pill just to find out that you aren’t the best candidate to go on it. This sets you back and means you have to develop a new strategy.
It can be frustrating, but I guarantee that it will be worth it.
You will have peace of mind and feel secure, which is honestly the best feeling ever.
Let me know what combination you will try or if you already have a Safe Sex Strategy in place!
