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Having a dick appointment is the best feeling in the world!
You know you are going to have sex, it’s going to be fun, but most importantly, it’s going to feel good.
But preparing for the dick appointment is a whole other task in itself.
You’re probably worrying about what you should wear, when to shave, or if you’re staying the night what to pack!
But don’t worry, I gotchu!
Combining all of my experience from slutting it up in college, I have written this day-by-day plan that you can follow in preparation for your dick appointment.
Remember, you don’t HAVE to do anything. Anything I suggest is only to increase your confidence and make you feel like your baddest self as you walk into their bedroom.
What Is A Dick Appointment?
Just so we are all on the same page, I want to cover what exactly is a dick appointment.
According to Urban Dictionary, a dick appointment means “to set an appointment to have sex with a man. Women make dick appointments. It is purely to fuck; no “feelings” are involved.”
Now I want to take this definition and expand it. Personally, it seems a bit too narrow for me.
Come to Mia defines a dick appointment as “an appointment anyone makes to have sex with someone else.” Men, women, non-binary babies can make dick appointments. They are not limited to any gender. And it can be just to have sex with no strings attached, or it can be with the person you are seeing.
Don’t overthink it: You have an appointment to have sex with someone.
Now let’s get you ready.
I had broken these activities down to which days they should be performed on if the dick appointment is set for Friday (which was when I usually had mine).
You can switch up the days if you need to or combine them if you don’t want to spend the whole week getting ready.
Just do what is good for you.
As I said, don’t overthink this.
Nothing works better for #mondaymotivation than knowing that you will get dicked down on the upcoming Friday.
The first thing you are going to do is confirm that the appointment is set.
Yes, I know it’s a bit early. Still, with these college boys or whoever your fucking they can be flaky, and nothing is more disappointing than shaving just to find out nothing will happen.
Once the appointment is confirmed, you have 2 things that need to be completed:
Complete it in this exact order.
By exfoliating before shaving, you are saving yourself from some nasty ingrown hairs, and you are getting all the dead skin off.
Leaving your skin silky smooth.
Yes, I know it’s too early in the week to be shaving. Hair will be growing back by the time Friday rolls around but just hear me out.
By shaving on Monday, you can take your time to make sure you get all the services that you usually miss when you are in a rush.
So this means your ankles, your bikini line, the back of thighs, and if you want your ass.
Shaving takes time, and you want to make sure to get all of it.
Like I said before, you do not need to shave.
You don’t need to shave your armpits, your legs, or your ass. This is only if you want to.
And if you are like me, then you should consider shaving.
If I didn’t shave, I would not perform at my best because all I would be able to think about is my leg hair or the bush I spent the past 3 months growing.
But do you.
Also, I would recommend drinking a cocktail made up of cranberry juice, pineapple juice, and lime.
Why, may you ask?
While there is no scientific evidence to back this up and your genitals aren’t supposed to taste like roses, many people claim that drinking this cocktail makes their cum taste better.
Since the taste of your cum is impacted by your diet, why not be as sweet as can be?
Plus, it tastes good. I see no downsides.
Today is the day you get to pick out your outfit!
Now it doesn’t have to be anything too complicated.
Just be comfortable, casual, and cute.
You can literally wear leggings, vans, and an oversized tee, and you’re still gonna get laid.
Or you could wear a casual dress or a cute skirt.
Remember, if it’s pants, they won’t be on that long, but if it’s a dress or skirt, those have easier access if you catch my drift.
This is also the perfect day to choose your underwear.
I usually opted for a blue thong that my FWB loved, and honestly, it made my ass look great. So I don’t blame him.
But you can choose to wear whatever underwear makes you feel confident.
It can be a cute bralette or a complete set of lingerie with the garter belt and everything.
Hell, you can even go in your everyday underwear. It really doesn’t matter because it’s going to end up on the floor within a matter of minutes.
But wear whatever makes you feel sexy and confident. Don’t think about the other person and what they might like.
Just focus on you.
Related Article: The One Where I Fell For My Friends With Benefits
Wednesday (Hump Day)
Today is your day to relax.
You are halfway through the week and that much closer to your appointment.
I know I used to get really anxious, not because I was nervous but because I really wanted to get railed.
The thought alone would get me really excited, and I felt like I could not wait.
So if this is you, then what you need to do is masturbate.
Make a whole evening out of it.
Light some candles, put on the good porn, and break out the lube.
Take your time.
This will help calm your anxiety and make the waiting a bit easier.
Wednesday is also the perfect day to wash your hair.
While you are at it, you can take a cold shower or a cold bath and do a face mask.
Any of these activities will help relieve some of the excitement and leave your skin will be glowing.
It’s one day away!
You are so close to the finish line.
Today there are few questions you need to ask yourself:
- Are y’all still on for the appointment?
- A.) Yes!
- B.) Unsure (text them to reconfirm)
- Are you planning to stay the night?
- A.) Eww, no
- B.) Of course!
If you answered B to question #2, it is the perfect time to pack your overnight bag.
Don’t worry, I already came up with the list for you!
The essentials include:
- Condoms (just in case)
- Makeup Wipes
- Baby Wipes (for clean up)
For the complete list of what to pack in your overnight bag, click here!
Today is also a great day to do any last-minute activities.
This can be re-shaving because I know some stubble would have grown back by now (but it won’t take you as long to shave as it did on Monday).
Or you can do a condom run or a lube run. Great things to have on hand.
Or maybe you can reconsider what type of underwear you are going to wear or whether or not you will bring some sex toys.
Thursday is really just for trying to figure out what things need to get done before tomorrow.
Related Article: 9 Online Dating Safety Tips You Need To Follow!
It’s Friday, Friday. Gotta Get Down On Friday!
You made it!
It’s finally Friday, and not only is the weekend here but also your dick appointment!
Today is all about relaxing and getting hyped to get your back blown out.
It’s time to get officially ready.
So take a nice relaxing shower.
Moisturize your body, pick a nice light perfume, and if you want, do your makeup.
I never did my makeup because I was always afraid the makeup would get on the pillow but do you.
Just make sure you choose a great setting spray.
Moreover, DO NOT shave or brush/floss your teeth. Doing things like this creates tiny cuts in your skin that make it easier for infections to get it.
The last thing wants to deal with is a nasty infection.
This is why I suggest shaving 24 hours earlier than the set appointment.
As for your mouth, just stick to mouthwash.
Also, consider having a light snack like fruit or some grapes before your appointment.
You don’t want your stomach to start rumbling while you are in a comprising position.
After all, is said done, don’t forget to hype yourself up!
You’re Hot! You’re Sexy! You Can Pull Whoever You Want & You Don’t Need Anyone’s Validation!
Now Go Get Laid!
F**k It Up!
As I said, you don’t have to follow this schedule to the T or do any of the activities I suggest.
These are just things that get me hype and make me feel sexy in my own skin.
Find out what works for you.
And make sure you are having sex with someone who you trust and who respects your boundaries.
You don’t want an asshole in your asshole.
But most importantly, be safe, have fun, and have an orgasm!