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Women are putting their foot down and demanding a change within the dating scene.
Nowhere is that more prominent than on Tiktok. Countless women are going online to learn how to raise their dating standards and demand more from a partner. They are bettering themselves in all aspects of their lives and up-leveling their self-worth, but the men, instead of listening, are angry.
They go on to berate women for wanting better and threaten them with the curse of loneliness if they don’t accept subpar behavior from partners that don’t make their lives better.
And this has become such a trend that an article by Psychology Today, “Why Are So Many Young Men Single & Sexless,” has identified several reasons why men are the ones ending up alone.
In this blog post, we will analyze the reasons why men are the ones ending up alone and what they could change because, despite what they want, women are going to continue to improve themselves.
The question is, are men going to do what it takes to reach their level?
Reasons for Fewer Marriages among Men
According to the Psychology Today article and my life (and many women’s life experiences), there are a few key reasons why fewer men:
Lack of Emotional Intelligence
As women become more independent, they are no longer relying on men. And that has men up in arms. Women are leading the workforce with higher rates of degrees, have become financially literate, and no longer depend on men to live like it was back in the 50s. Instead of depending on someone, women are raising their dating standards.
They are looking for partners who can offer emotional support and intellectual stimulation. But the truth is, men were not prepared to bring that to relationships.
Growing up in the patriarchy, men were led to believe that if they could provide financially, then they would be rewarded with a wife who would cater to their every need, like a mother but with the perks of a wife, aka sex. So now they are demonizing women who are “too independent” because of their own insecurity. They didn’t do the work to become more well-rounded humans, and it shows.
But they are throwing hissy fits because they were led to believe that just because they are men, they deserve a wife.
Now the article doesn’t touch on this point, but it’s an important one, and it goes hand in hand with the lack of emotional intelligence. If you are chronically online like me, you will notice that men who are attentive, respectful, and shower their partners in love are referred to as simps. Someone who doesn’t conform to patriarchal standards of what a man should be and actually puts in effort with their partner. Many men demonize this type of man for “caring about their partner.”
But in a karmic twist of fate, these are men women prefer. Women want to be with someone who adores and respects them. Not someone who acts too good to be affectionate to them and continually disrespects them.
Related Article: The 5 Love Languages: Understanding Yourself & Your Partner
The traditional masculine stereotype of being emotionally detached, sexually aggressive, and financially dominant is no longer relevant. Instead, men must embrace a more inclusive and progressive definition of masculinity, which values emotional intelligence, empathy, and relationship equality. Moreover, toxic masculinity seeps into men’s sex lives. Since men are unable to find someone who will cater to them, they’ve turned to the virtual world. They are sexually fulfilling their needs with porn which in turn is ruining their sex lives.
According to the article, “Men who use porn more often tend to report less satisfaction with real-life sex (Dwulit & Rzymski, 2019). Even more concerning is a rise in psychogenic-related erectile dysfunction, delayed ejaculation, and diminished libido in men under 40 years old associated with frequent porn use.”
To wrap it up, fewer men are getting married because they essentially have fallen behind emotionally, mentally, and financially. They don’t want to put in the effort to make the relationship work, and they don’t want to unlearn their toxic masculinity because it makes them feel empowered. So they end up alone. They are fulfilling their needs sexually through a porn addiction that is destroying their in-person sex lives, and instead of seeking help, they act above the help they so desperately need.
Related Article: Can’t Get it Up? Maybe You’re Thinking Too Much ft Daniel Sher
How to Be A Good Partner
Now not all hope is lost. Learning to be a good partner is a skill that can be cultivated. You just have to be willing to do the work.
First, you need to let go of the idea that you are entitled to a partner just for being alive. We’ve surpassed that. You can be better, and we want you to be better.
According to the article, one of the essential skills is emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and manage one’s emotions and those of others. Men who are emotionally intelligent can communicate effectively with their partners and understand their needs and feelings. They can also handle conflicts in a healthy and productive way.
Another crucial skill is active listening. Men who are good listeners can make their partners feel heard and understood. They can also pick up on cues that indicate what their partners need and want. Active listening involves paying attention to both verbal and nonverbal communication and asking clarifying questions when necessary.
Lastly, men need to be able to express their feelings. Men who can express their emotions in a healthy and productive way are better partners. They can communicate their needs and feelings effectively and can work with their partners to address any issues that arise.
What Men Can Do to Change the Trend
If men want to change the trend, they need to take action. One thing they can do is work on developing the skills mentioned above. Emotional intelligence, active listening, and expressing emotions are all skills that can be learned and improved upon.
Moreover, it’s important that men focus on building strong friendships with other men who also want to be better partners. Building friendships is a skill that women have cultivated that has made their lives 10x better because strong friendships provide emotional support and help develop social skills.
It’s obvious that men do not get the emotional support they need, so they tend to throw it on their partners, which mentally and emotionally exhausts them.
Additionally, men should be open to dating outside of their usual social circles. This can help them meet new people and develop new perspectives. Men who are open to different types of people and experiences are more likely to find partners who are a good match for them.
Finally, men need to redefine their masculinity. Toxic masculinity is making more women afraid to be around them. The alpha male vibe doesn’t foster healthy relationships and lets women immediately know that what they want is someone to control and manipulate instead of an actual partner.
Related Article: 9 Online Dating Safety Tips You Need To Follow!
Change Needs to Happen
The decline in marriage and sex among men is a complex issue that cannot be attributed to any one cause. It seems to be that everyone except the women is freaking out about this issue. This is because women have been warning everyone that this is going to happen if there isn’t a change.
Women no longer need someone to support them financially. They are seeking partners who are emotionally intelligent and consistently show up for them. Not another man-child that expects them to do everything for them and still has enough energy to fuck them at the end of the day.
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