The handjob. We’ve all heard of it. Some of us have even performed it. Not well in my case, but I digress.
Receiving the unfortunate reputation of being deemed for high schoolers, the handjob has a bad rap.
This is because people in high school who were just starting out had little to no experience in sex. Hell, seeing a penis was probably traumatizing enough, let alone learning how to touch one properly.
So we left the handjob in high school and have scaled to bigger and scarier things.
But I think it is now time to bring the handjob back. We just need to add a twist.
A handjob can actually be a gateway to pleasure and intimacy.
It’s a great way to slow down and really focus on your partner. It’s not about trying to see who can have an orgasm first or how fast you can get the penis owner to cum but instead a time to savor the moment.
A handjob can bring a level of intimacy and understanding to the relationship because you are taking the time to learn the triggers of the penis owner.
You are really taking note of what turns them on or off and gets them closer to climax.
And what better way to get to know your partner than by watching them lose their minds while you hold them “like a python.”
Key-Take Aways
Just a few things to keep in mind as you read this article.
- It’s about savoring the moment, not about having an orgasm.
- While you can get your partner (or whatever) off quickly, I want you to take a different approach when it comes to this handjob. I want you to focus on each other instead of trying to get them to climax. Be present.
- Not everyone is going to love the handjob.
- Some people you hook up with or are in a relationship with will not want to take the time to slow down. Beware of who you are sleeping with.
- If you get tired, you can stop.
- I cannot stress this enough. Giving a handjob like any other sexual activity takes stamina, especially if you are going at a slow pace. If you get tired or lose interest halfway through, communicate that to your lover.
Ready to learn why you need to incorporate a handjob into your sex routine?
Let’s go.
#1) Pay attention to your lover’s body language & preferences
Remember when I pointed out that the handjob is so frowned upon because high schoolers don’t know what they are doing and end up hurting the other person?
Yeah, well, that can apply here. While you may know a little bit more about the anatomy of the penis, you probably don’t know all of it.
So when you slow down and give yourself the chance to examine the penis of your lover, you get to learn what feels good for them.
You get to see how they react when you grip the base of their shaft compared to the glans.
Hell, you can even learn how tightly or loosely they like their penis gripped. When you are focusing solely on achieving an orgasm, anything feels good. But when you slow down, you learn that some things feel better than others.
So while you are in this comprising position, I encourage you to look at your partner as you try various things. Watch their body language as you move your hand up and down.
Pay attention to their breath and what their moaning sounds like when you adjust your grip or try a new technique.
And if you want to kick it up a notch, ask them to show you what they like.
Watch how they touch themselves, how they move their hands, and mimic them.
Trust me, doing all of this is just chef’s kiss.
There is just something about watching the person you care about (or at least attracted to) fill with ecstasy as you touch them. Kinda makes you lose your mind.
Related Article: How to Give A Hand Job: Beginner’s Edition
#2) You can make it a full-body experience
Another way the handjob you give today will differ from the high school version is because of location and time.
High schoolers are doing it in a parked car, hoping they don’t get caught. Hopefully, some things have changed since then for you.
We now don’t have to rush.
We can take our time to turn the handjob experience into a full-body experience.
Let me let you in on a little secret: the penis is attached to a person. Turns out that person likes to be touched in other areas too. Rumor has it that it can make the erection stronger if you tease them.
In all honesty, I know how intimidating the whole thing can be, but don’t fret.
The body is a great thing to explore.
So don’t just grab their dick and start pounding away.
Build some tension.
Make out with them. Kiss their neck, then their chest, and eventually make your way to their thighs.
Here are a few more things that you can do to make it a full-body experience:
Trying it in different positions.
You don’t have to just do it with them lying down and you hovering over them. You have options.
Face to Face
- You can do this by standing up or kneeling on the bed or floor. Face each other and start touching away, eventually making your way downtown.
69ing
- Not my favorite but an option. You sit on their face, and you grab their dick.
In front of the mirror.
- You stand behind them, and they are facing the mirror.
Start touching them in other places.
- Like I said before, make out with them. Kiss their neck and then their inner thighs. Stimulate their nipples, or if you decide to go for the dick, just focus on the head for a while.
- Make your way to their perineum, aka the ‘dirty bridge.’ It’s the area of skin between the penis and the anus. It’s sensitive, so just using the pad of your finger and applying some pressure will feel amazing.
- You can also focus on their balls. Many people leave them out and forget that it can actually feel amazing to have them stimulated. They can be massaged, stroked, licked, or even cradled. You can have their penis in one hand and the balls in another.
Try Different Lubes
- The spit that is typically used during a handjob dries out quickly. We are adults now. We can buy lube. Using lube will immediately make the handjob that much better.
- There is water-based, silicone-based, or even oil-based. But remember not to mix oil-based lube with condoms. That is a big no-no.
- You can also use flavored lube if you want to add your mouth into the mix of the handjob. Just remember to wipe it all off before you stick it up to your vagina.
Making the handjob a full-body experience elevates the whole thing to a new level. You learn more about what they like while they wonder how you got so good at it.
Related Article: 7 Things YOU NEED To Know About Post Nut Clarity (& How It Impacts Your Sex Life)
#3) You can learn more advanced techniques to increase pleasure
A handjob is famous for its up and down motion, but more can be done.
If you have been giving a handjob since high school, and you got the basics, such as a consistent grip and eye contact, down, then you are ready to take it up a notch.
If this is not you, perfect your grip and eye contact. A lot of lousy handjobs come from a lack of consistent grip and dryness.
As for the rest of you, it’s time to learn more advanced techniques. The basic up and down motion is great. It gets the job down, but we are not here to just “get the job done”; we are here to learn how to connect with our lovers on a deeper level or just experience something unique.
Whatever fits your M.O.
So you can make the up and down motion, or old-reliable how I like to call it, and add a twist to it, literally.
As your hands are moving up and down, you can twist them in opposite directions. Or starting at the head of the penis, you can interlock your fingers and make an up and down motion.
You can also try varying the pressure at different points. For instance, you can use a strong grip in the beginning, and then as their breathing increases, loosen it up.
Or my favorite, you can try edging. Bring them close to orgasm and then slow down.
There are so many different techniques that you can try. You have to be open to it.
Give It A Shot!
The question shouldn’t be ‘why should I give a handjob’ but instead ‘why shouldn’t I give a handjob’!
They are incredible. As you can see, a handjob is a lost art form, and it can add so much more pleasure to your sex routine.
You get the chance to slow down and explore your lover in ways that we tend to skip right over.
So instead of rushing towards the orgasm, take a breathe and watch your lover and listen to them.
Y’all will probably learn something new.
