“Let’s talk about sex, baby, and a dry pus-sy!”
(please read in tune to Let’s Talk About Sex by Salt-N-Pepa)
In this TMI post, I am going to describe in excruciating detail the way that antidepressants have changed the slip n’ slide that was my sex life to the motherfucking Sahara desert and the journey I didn’t think I would be going on so soon.
We start our story a few weeks back.
I was chilling on my bed when all of a sudden, I got that itch down south if you catch my drift (I am talking about masturbating).
So I got ready.
I broke out my fabulous pink dildo and turned on some pretty vanilla porn because it gets me in the mood.
After about 20 minutes of light petting and three videos, I realized I was getting hornier but not wetter.
It was taking forever, and I had an early morning the next day, so I made the executive decision to get it over with.
So I turned my vibrator up to full speed, and I came.
I didn’t think much about this for a while because it happened before.
I would watch porn, get turned on but not wet.
My initial thought was that I was probably not giving myself enough time to get wet or turned on enough to be penetrated by a 5-inch glow-in-the-dark dildo.
I Saw The Light
Then one day by a chance of God themself, I saw an Instagram post about consent and the last part of the post said something along the lines of “let your partner know that you are on antidepressants and it takes you a while longer to cum, but you are still having a great time.”
And it finally all made sense.
Why it took so long for me to cum.
Why it was so difficult for me to get wet when before I started taking my medication as Ali Wong has said, I could blow a bubble with my snail trail.
So the thing that has helped me to become mentally stable has betrayed me.
The Science of Antidepressants
So being the off-brand investigative reporter that I am, I did some research.
An SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors), aka (one of the most stigmatized words in the English language), antidepressants, are used to (obviously) fight off depression.
They do this by increasing levels of serotonin in our brains making it more easily accessible.
This leads to people taking these drugs to feel calmer and less anxious, which is the outcome that we want.
But this increase in serotonin can curb a person’s sex drive, consequently leading them to curve their hookups (punny, right?).
Moreover, serotonin is best pals with dopamine, which is another chemical in the brain that has a big say in whether or not you want to get laid.
So as serotonin increases, the levels of dopamine decrease.
Therefore making it more difficult for someone to feel sexually aroused or in layman’s terms, horny.
Antidepressants work by preventing the transmission of certain hormones’ messages to our brain.
On the one hand, people are happier, less depressed, and able to cope effectively with life’s curveballs.
But on the other hand, people are left with dry vaginas and the inability to orgasm.
Antidepressants & Their Symptoms
A list of these name-brand antidepressants includes but is not limited to Zoloft, Prozac, Paxil, Lexapro, Cymbalta, and Celexa.
Some symptoms that many people experience with these medications are:
- delayed lubrication
- delayed orgasms
- decreased sexual desire
- loss of sensation in genitals (aka your clit or penis)
- erectile dysfunction (for the people with penises)
Obviously, these symptoms are not universal and vary person to person, so talk to your doctor because I am not one.
I just read a lot.
What Did I Do About It
I cried.
Not really, I’m on antidepressants.
But in all seriousness, while I can no longer blow a bubble with my snail trail, it hasn’t impacted my sex life by much.
As Healthline has put it, I “experience delayed lubrication and delayed orgasm.”
It’s not the worst sexual side effect, but it definitely sucks.
Especially if for months, you had no idea why your favorite pornstar was no longer getting you as horny as before.
But I digress.
My Sex Life Now With Antidepressants
As of right now, my antidepressants don’t impact my sex life in such a way that I need to try something new.
I still can have an orgasm. My pussy can still get wet even after what seems like hours of foreplay, and I can feel my clitoris and have the sensation of wanting to masturbate and get turned on.
P.S. Click here if you want to learn more vaginas!
It just takes longer, harder vibration, and concentration.
The only thing that has changed is the fact that I now need lube.
And honestly, it’s not that big of a deal to me.
This little situation has helped me explore more of what turns me on, what gets me off, and what types of products my high-maintenance vagina likes.
Food for Thought
Before I went on antidepressants no one warned me about the sexual side effects and looking back now; I really wished someone had because if you haven’t guessed it yet, sex is an essential aspect of my life.
So the thought that my desire to explore and try new things could just go away is frightening.
But while researching for this post, I have found some excellent tips that I think everyone should keep in their back pockets.
There is “no one size fits all.”
We are not the same.
When trying anything new, you run the risk of finding out how your body will react to it.
Applying this to antidepressants, if you choose to go on one, your body will not behave the same way that mine did.
This is why it’s so important to talk to your doctor.
Yes, it may be exhausting going through a multitude of medications to find the right one, but it’s better than putting up with something that is causing extra stress.
You Deserve More
Life is not an all or nothing game.
You don’t have to choose one or the other.
Yes, you can have mental stability and inner peace, along with a great orgasm.
If you are experiencing any of the symptoms listed above in a way that is impacting your quality of life, you should TALK TO YOU MF DOCTOR!
Now you may be too embarrassed to talk to your doctor about it, but trust me, it will be worth it.
If they make you feel bad or crazy for wanting to talk about this, then THROW THE WHOLE DOCTOR AWAY and find a new one.
Like partners, there are plenty in the sea, and I’m pretty sure there is a better one that will take your insurance.
Your problem could be as easy as switching to a new medication or lowering your dosage.
Don’t suffer in silence.
You deserve more.
Communication is Key
I know this is something you hear over and over again, but it’s true.
If you can talk about how much you want to get your pussy wrecked in the back of a Chic-fil-a, then you can talk about what’s going on down there and what they can do to make it more enjoyable.
And if they give you grief about it, THROW THE WHOLE PERSON AWAY!
Like a doctor, you can find a better one with better fucking game.
Try New Things
You’re probably like, “but Mía, if I can’t even get wet or have an orgasm, what’s the point?!”
That’s quitter talk, and I don’t want to hear it.
Yes, things seem tough right now but you’ve got to keep trying.
Plus sex isn’t all about having an orgasm.
It is a journey that goes up and down, side to side, and makes a few pit stops along the way if you are doing it right.
So try some new toys, try role-playing, do it in a new environment, try getting tied up or some sensory deprivation, or flavored lubes!
Literally, it’s all going to be such a fun experience because you’re going to learn so much about yourself.
Word of Advice
Since I’ve rambled on for a while now, let me leave you with this: try new things and look for help if needed.
Things change, and you are not alone.
