How To Give A Hand Job: Beginner’s Edition

Date
Aug, 13, 2021

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Hand jobs.

I remember the first time I gave a hand job. I was so nervous because it was the first time I saw a penis, and I had absolutely no idea what to do with it.

The guy the penis was attached to was no help at all. It probably didn’t help that it was the first time we ever met each other but more on my sexual experiences later.

My point is that hand jobs are a lost art form.

We never take the time to really give someone a hand job and usually skip right over it and into the blow job and then right into penetration.

Five minutes later, we are sitting next to each other in awkward silence.

We never really enjoy and savor watching our partners get all hot and bothered as they watch us do something that has been categorized as strictly for high schoolers.

So today, we are going to learn about the basics of the hand job.

Nothing too complicated but still mind-blowing and enjoyable.

We are making it the main course instead of the appetizer (I hope that made sense).

Key-Take Aways

As we go through this, you need to keep in mind a few things about hand jobs (any sexual act, really).

  1. Not everyone will enjoy receiving a hand job.
    • Like how not everyone likes getting a blow job or a certain sex position, some people are just not going to enjoy the hand job no matter how many different techniques you learn. And that’s okay! Just make sure to establish that open line of communication, so they feel free to express that.
  2. There is no one size fits all.
    • Not everyone is going to enjoy the phenomenal hand techniques that you learn. Everyone enjoys something different so keep an open mind.
  3. Go slow
    • One of the things I wish I knew before giving a hand job was that I could go slow. That I could’ve paid attention to the movements and how my partner was feeling. You don’t have to go fast and hard because that is what porn shows you.
  4. Incorporate other things.
    • You are allowed to use your mouth, toys, blindfolds, anything really to make it better. But since I am targeting beginners, I will only focus on what to do with your hands. I feel that once you build a solid foundation, adding other things will become much more manageable. You don’t have to be a pro right away.

Now that we are done with that, are you ready to cover the basics of the hand job?

Learn Anatomy

Before engaging in a sexual act with a penis, it is a good idea to brush up on your anatomy because seeing the thing in real life can be a little bit overwhelming.

You don’t know what is what, and you are confused. Next thing you know, you grabbed something you weren’t supposed to.

So here is your quick anatomy lesson.

Glans

Aka the head or the tip of the penis. This is where people with penises pee out of, and pre-cum and sperm come out of there too. It’s very sensitive.

Shaft

Aka, the body of the penis that starts right below the head. It looks like a tube.

Frenulum

A sensitive area on the underside of the penis where the head meets the shaft.

Scrotum

Aka the ballsack. It hangs below the penis and contains the testes.

Anus

The bootyhole is located in the back.

Perineum

Also known as the “dirty bridge” or taint, it is the skin that connects the anus and the scrotum.

If you need a visual, check out this diagram by Planned Parenthood.

Related Article: Everything You Should Know Before Giving A Blow Job

Communication

I know you have heard this a thousand times before, but communication is the #1 thing that will make any sexual experience 1000x better!

So get out of your shell and ask them!

Ask them what they like.

If you are feeling brave, ask them to show you how they give themselves hand jobs!

First of all, it’s an all-around turn-on for everyone involved: you are watching them get off, they are watching you and watching them get off.

It’s just a great time.

Take Notes

When they are showing you what they like, make sure you pay attention to the following:

  1. The speed and motion of their hand
  2. How they position their hand
  3. Do they use both hands?
  4. How fast or slow they are going (and at what points)
  5. How tightly or loosely they grip their penis
  6. Do they speed up before they cum or slow down?
  7. Does their grip loosen or get tighter when they are about to cum?
  8. Do they play with their balls?

You are taking note of all of these things so you can mimic their movements.

You don’t have to get it the first time around, but it is good to get a general sense of what they like. That way, you can add to it later as you become more confident in your hand job skills.

Where Will They Cum?

Cum-CTM

It’s always a good idea to discuss where they will cum before jumping into the hand job. That way, y’all are not looking for a towel at the last second.

So have the conversation beforehand.

The great thing is that there are multiple places where they can cum.

If you want, they can cum on:

  1. Your body
  2. On your ass
  3. Your face
  4. In your mouth

Or if you don’t want them to cum on you, then they can cum in:

  1. Their own hand
  2. A napkin
  3. A shirt
  4. A sock
  5. A towel

The possibilities are truly endless.

Body Language

The unsung form of communication.

I wish we were taught how to read body language in school because it is not only helpful during sex but interacting with people in general.

Nevertheless, I digress.

When giving your partner, hookup, one-stand, spouse, whoever, a hand job, it is important to note their body language.

This is because in the heat of the moment, while you are stroking their dick, they will most likely have their eyes closed with minimal sound coming from them, leaving you to feel unsure about your technique.

So let’s learn what you should be paying attention to.

You are going to be focusing on their groans, moans, breathing, and facial expressions.

Unfortunately, most people with penises are not very vocal (at least in my experience), making our job a little more complex. 

But if you manage to get a moan, that is a very good sign.

If you get a groan that sounds like it’s painful, make sure to ask them if they like what you are doing. They will usually correct your form if they are not enjoying it.

Facial expressions are very telling.

If they have their eyebrows furrowed together, that is a good sign.

If their eyes are closed, or they are looking at you with a smirk on their face, babe, you are doing just fine.

Breathing is a great sign too. Rapid and shallow means they are getting close to cumming or just really enjoying the ride.

Remember not to get too caught up in trying to read their body language. If they are not enjoying themselves or a particular movement you made hurt, they will most likely speak up.

In the Dirty Talk portion of this article, I briefly go over how to ask them if they like it, so stay tuned (or skip to that).

  1. Comfort Level (Your’s & Their’s)
  2. Flexibility
  3. Wrist Mobility (after a while, it’s going to get tired)

Positions

Switching them positions for you…

While there are multiple positions that you can take while giving a hand job, they are all going to depend on these three factors:

On The Bed

So there are a few ways y’all can position yourselves on the bed.

They can be lying down, and you can lay down next to them.

They can be lying down, and you can straddle them. So you will be looking directly at their penis.

Or you can kneel next to them while they are lying down.

On Your Knees

Make sure to get a pillow for your knees. You are going to need it!

They can either be standing or sitting down as you kneel in front of them.

While Standing

This is more expert level because it takes a certain level of confidence, but it is also an option.

In this position, both of y’all are standing.

Y’all can be face-to-face, or the receiver can be facing towards a mirror.

You can stand behind them and reach around while you jerk them off and they watch in the mirror.

Keep It Wet!

The thing that makes hand jobs so “high school” is that they tend to be dry.

Dry hand jobs cause a lot of friction and pain for the penis owner.

And since you are in high school, you probably don’t know that spit tends to dry out quickly, making the hand job lackluster.

So to upgrade the high-school hand job, we are going to need to keep it wet throughout the whole time.

If possible, always have lube on hand.

Personally, I like water-based lubes since they also work well with condoms, but there are others to choose from if you can’t find one you like.

You can also use coconut oil but be careful not to get it inside the hole they pee out of (the urethra located at the top of the head).

Get Them Hard

Luckily, this part is not too hard (did you like my pun?).

While they most likely will be hard by the time you are ready to start the hand job, if they are not, don’t worry.

Here are few tricks you can keep up your sleeve.

  1. Use the pads of your fingertips.
    • You can gently move the pads of your fingertips over their penis. This can be over their underwear or on the penis itself. The light touching combined with heavy eye contact is just chef’s kiss. Just gently brush the penis all over with your fingertips. You can also use your fingertips on their balls.
  2. Lube or Spit
    • Can spit in your hand or put lube in your hand and just grab the penis (not too hard) and start stroking them up and down the shaft. This will get them hard, for sure.

Additionally, you can use either technique and just focus on the head of their penis. So light touching on the head of their penis or just stroking the head of the penis with lube or spit is also a great idea.

Once they are fully hard, then you can focus on the shaft and everything else.

Be Consistent With…

Like in life, consistency is important in hand jobs.

Rhythm

A good consistent rhythm feels amazing and will likely get them to cum quicker.

So if you find a good rhythm and speed that they are clearly enjoying, you can keep at it.

If your goal is not to get them to cum quickly but instead focus on the whole experience, you can mix it up.

You can go fast for a minute, then slow and watch their reaction.

Trust me, it’s fun.

Grip

Now I have had issues with grip in the past because a penis is different from a clitoris.

A clitoris is sensitive to the touch.

A penis…not so much.

That is why it’s essential to watch how tightly or loosely they grip their penis while they masturbate.

What I did to learn how tightly or loosely someone like their dick gripped was by asking them.

I would put my hand on their penis, start with a loose grip, and then gradually get tighter while having them vocalize whether the pressure was too much or if they wanted me to grip tighter.

So the conversation would go something like this:

Me: Tell me if it’s too tight or if it feels good

Them: Okay

Starts with a loose grip on their dick and slowly tightens

Them: Keep going, keep going, STOP!

Me: Does this feels good?

Them: (eyes close imagining Kim Kardashian) Fuck yes

Now you don’t have to do it as I did. You can just grip it until you think it is enough. But asking them lets you know how they like it, and to be honest, I just like watching them as their eyes get wider as the grip gets tighter.

Foreplay

While making heavy eye contact and gripping their penis, and asking them what they like makes for excellent foreplay, there are a few other things you can do.

Dirty Talk

Intimidating, I know. But also useful.

Hand Job Positions-CTM

The conversation above can be considered entry-level dirty talk.

You not only learn what they like but it’s hot at the same time.

You can also whisper into their ear what you are doing to them.

Like, “Fuck, your dick is so big. Tell me how you want me to touch you. I just love watching you lose control when I put my hands on you.”

Stuff like that. Trust me; it sounds less cringe in the moment.

Or you can periodically ask how they are doing or if they like it.

“Do you like it when I touch you like this? Do you want me to grip you harder? Is this okay?”

Keep in mind that I said periodically.

Don’t go asking every 5 seconds if it’s okay or if they like it.

It will ruin the mood because everyone will be in their heads.

So you can only ask 3-5x max (depends on how long you have been jerking them off) throughout the whole thing.

Make It a Full Body Experience

In the realm of foreplay, touching other body parts levels up the hand job.

To make it a full-body experience, you can start by touching different parts of their body.

You can kiss their neck, and then their chest, and make your way down to their inner thighs.

Make sure to really enjoy every moment and savor it.

It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

Don’t be afraid of your partner and their body.

I know the whole thing is intimidating but try to stay out of your head and enjoy it.

Basics of the Hand Job

Since this guide is targeting beginners, I will not be giving advanced techniques.

It will just confuse you and make you unsure of what you are supposed to be doing.

Hand Job Techniques-CTM

Focus on building the foundation.

That way, when you got a solid foundation, you can start throwing tricks that will leave them in shock and awe.

Every technique that I am going to tell you about can be performed with one hand. You can add two, but one is enough.

You can alternate between these techniques during the hand job but don’t change it up every 30 seconds.

Give it a good minute, enjoy the movement, note how your partner is reacting to it, and then you can change it up if you want.

Always remember to:

  • Keep it wet
  • Check-in sporadically
    • By check-in, I mean, “do you like this? Is this okay? Do you want me to go harder or faster?”

Got it? Good.

Related Article: How to Give A Blow Job: Beginner Level 1

Traditional

Or how I like to refer to it, old reliable.

This technique is an oldy but a goody.

It is the up and downstroke.

Nothing new, but if you don’t have a penis, it is new to you.

This also means that you do not know how to do it…correctly, at least.

How much can you mess up going up and down, right?

Anyways, once the penis is hard, erect, and wet, you are going to take your hand and grip at either the base of the shaft or the head. Then you’re going to move your hand up and down the shaft.

Start slow and be sure that you have a good enough grip on it.

Once you know your grip is good, and you are going to want to vary in speed.

You can start fast, and then if their breathing starts becoming rapid and shallow, you slow it down.

All the while keeping it wet.

Pay attention to your partner’s breathing and movements.

Andddd Twist!

So we are now adding on top of old reliable.

Now, this technique is a little more advanced but still doable. It just takes a little bit more wrist action.

As you are stroking their penis up and down, your hand will make a slight twisting motion.

Place your hand on the base of the shaft, grip, and twist. Then stroke upwards and twist again.

Once you have reached the top of the penis, you can take the pad of your thumb and make circular motions on the head of the penis.

The Okay

This technique is like old reliable but different.

Think of this technique as taking Old Reliable and the twist a step further.

So you are first going to take your index finger and your thumb, and you will make an ‘O’ shape.

Like the ‘okay’ hand gesture.

Then you will place the ‘O’ at the base of the penis and start stroking them up and down.

You can just stroke them up and down or add a twist.

Make sure in every technique to keep the dick wet!

Super important to make the whole thing pleasurable.

Don’t Forget the Balls

The balls are usually ignored, so when you do pay attention to them, the people are shook.

Before playing with them, you need to ask the owner if they want them to be touched.

Some don’t care, some will want it, and others don’t want you near them at all.

So be sure to get consent.

Once you have the consent, you can just get used to how they feel.

You can cup them in your hands and gently massage them.

Or, while giving the hand job with one hand, the other can focus on cupping and caressing their balls.

You can also take the pads of your fingers and touch them lightly in circular motions.

Whatever you choose to do with their balls, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, BE GENTLE!

Have Fun

Hand jobs are supposed to be fun for both parties, so if you find yourself at any point not enjoying yourself feel free to stop.

And if the person who is getting the hand job starts acting up, they are not someone you should be having sex with.

Always remember to respect your and their boundaries and have an open line of communication.

Let me know in the comments what tips and tricks you have when giving a hand job.

Sources

  1. Women’s Health| 8 Tips For Giving The Best Hand Job He’s Ever Had
  2. Bad Girls Bible| 23 Intense Hand Job Tips That Will Give Him Explosive Orgasms
  3. Masterclass| Hand Job Tips: How to Give a Great Hand Job
  4. Vice| How to Give a Better Handjob

Mía

Hi, I am Mia! I am Sex Education Enthusiast and I love bringing people the knowledge they need to make their sex lives better! I always preach that having a healthy sex life is a part of a healthy life overall.

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