Everything You Should Know Before Giving A Blow Job

Date
Dec, 12, 2020

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Since the dawn of time, humans have found smarter ways of doing the simplest things. To help carry the food we forged, we created baskets. To get from one place to another quicker, we used horses and then cars. Naturally, we would find a better way of apologizing and getting what we want while using very few words. May I present to you (cue drumroll)…. the Blow Job!

Scientific Name: Fellatio

Been around since: Ancient Egypt

Uses Include: Apologizing, Getting something you want, Saying Thank You, Happy Birthday, Happy Anniversary, I’m Bored, etc.

Other Names: Sucking Dick, Blow Job, Oral Sex, Cock Sucking, etc.

So you are probably reading this because you’re about to give your first blow job and have no idea what to expect besides what you’ve seen in porn or what your friends have told you.

Or you gave a blow job and felt as if you did it wrong and want to build your foundation so you can do better (I’ve been there too).

Either way, you probably feel like you have no idea what’s going to happen. But don’t worry, I got you. I’ll cover everything you need to know for your first time sucking a dick.

BJ Take-Aways

Before we jump into all of the burning questions you have, I want you to keep somethings in mind.

  1. It’s fun for both parties.
    • While blow jobs have the reputation of being one-sided and only pleasurable for the receiver, I’ve concluded that I beg to differ. I think it can be fun for both parties, so go with that mentality instead.
  2. Go slow, pace yourself, and be consistent.
    • Don’t start throwing tricks when you haven’t even practiced the basics. Once you have found a good rhythm that you and your partner are both enjoying, keep going.
  3. Everyone is different and will enjoy different things.
    • Not everyone will like to have their balls played with or like the double hand twist. Some may like it all. Don’t be afraid to ask and explore.
  4. They won’t like you anymore or less whether you give them a blow job. If they threaten you with this, it’s because that is all they want from you.
    • At one point, I believed, if I gave the best, sloppiest, most savage blow job, the person would love me. The truth is, they didn’t, and I would feel disgusted. I don’t want this to happen to you so remember this. Don’t go expecting anything except fun and experience.

What To Expect When Sucking a Dick

Since this may be your first time, I want to prepare you for all the things that you may encounter when giving a blow job.

Penises WILL Vary

Penises come in so many different shapes, sizes, and even have their own color palette.

Some penises point up, down, some point straight out, some have a curve that can point up or down.

The possibilities are endless.

Smell

All genitals have a smell. It can be impacted by our diet all the way to the hygiene products that we use. Everyone has a distinctive smell so expect this, especially if they didn’t shower beforehand.

But if they take their pants down and you get with a funky smell, they may need that shower. If this is the case, then DO NOT BE AFRAID TO ASK them to take a shower beforehand because how are you going to give a great blow job when something pungent is right in your face.

Taste

Yes, a person’s genitals have a taste. I can’t describe it, but you’ll know when you do it. So be prepared for it.

It won’t taste bad, but if it does, then they may not be the most hygienic person. You might want to rethink putting your mouth on there.

Pubic Hair

It’s part of the human body. Everyone has it, but not everyone takes care of it the same way.

Some people like to keep it short or be completely shaven, and some want to keep it like it’s the 70’s (meaning they don’t shave or trim at all.)

All forms are acceptable but prepare yourself. Also, keep in mind that the more pubic hair someone has, the more of a smell there would be.

Uncircumcised vs. Circumcised

This is not as big of a deal as many people make it seem. If it helps, I was with a guy for about a year before discovering that he was uncircumcised.

Moral of the story: You most likely won’t even notice it or have to worry about it. Many people will peel it back themselves before you even begin.

But if you end being the one who peels it back, don’t be that bitch that brutally pushes it down (it’s me, I’m bitches. I didn’t know any better) because it will hurt.

Smegma

Commonly referred to as dick cheese, it appears as white clumps on the penis. 

 If you see this on a penis, you are about blow; I strongly recommend that you don’t put your mouth near it. 

While this signifies that the penis is cleaning itself and not dangerous, it also means that the person is not cleaning their penis correctly or regularly. 

So please don’t put your mouth on it.

Safety

You are probably thinking, “I’m safe. There is nothing to worry about, so why is this girl trying to freak me out?”

And no, I’m not trying to freak you out. I want you to be aware of the risk associated with giving a blow job and how to minimize it.

STI’s

Yes, you can get a sexually transmitted infection from giving a blow job. I know, mind-blown.

Be aware because not all STI’s can cause symptoms, which means you probably won’t know if they have one. Hell, they might not even know.

If possible, both of y’all should get tested beforehand. But if that’s not in the cards, then let me introduce you to flavored condoms.

BJ- Come To Mia

I know it may sound lame, but it will save you from an embarrassing trip to the doctor. Plus, they’re fun! There are so many flavors, and it’s a great way to ease in on giving a blow job.

Final Tip: Do not brush your teeth before or after giving a blow job! This is because brushing can cause small tears in your gums, giving you a higher chance of contracting an STI. Instead, use mouth wash!

Communication

Let’s talk about sex, baby!

Warning: If talking to the person your considering giving a blow job makes you want to jump out of a window, don’t give that person a blow job. You’re not comfortable enough with them.

Communication is so important and so often looked over because of the myth that it will ruin the moment. Talking to a partner will help take some of the pressure and let you have more fun.

Before you begin, you can ask them what their likes and dislikes are. Tell them what you’re worried about, what you want to do and are not ready to do.

Dirty Talk

Yes, this goes under the communication section because you may want to know if they enjoy it, but they may be radio silent while you’re performing. 

 You are not trying to have a full-blown conversation.

Dirty talk is an art form that’s modified to its situation. 

So in this scenario, it’s going to be short basic yes or no questions that the receiver can answer with the following:

A yes or no, a grunt, a moan, or a movement such as thrusting their dick deeper into your mouth.

For instance, in the middle of blowing them, you can ask in your “sexy” voice or regular voice (whatever is authentic to you), “Do you like my hands here? Should I go faster?”

See. Short, sweet, and straight to the point.

Body Language

These are the nonverbal cues that the receiver may give you.

This includes but is not limited too:

A jolt of their dick or their body. A hip thrust to go deeper into your mouth, or them pulling you closer.

Also, pay attention to moans and heavy breathing.

These are all signs that you are doing a good job, and they are enjoying themselves.

Where To Cum?

Before you begin, you should talk about this. The last thing you want is a ticking time bomb, not knowing where they should blow up.

Let the receiver know where they should cum and what you are comfortable with.

Don’t let anyone pressure you into allowing them to cum somewhere on your body that you are not comfortable with.

If you don’t want them to cum in your mouth or on your body, tell them that. They have plenty of options. They can cum in a towel, on the bed, on an old shirt, outside of the bedroom window.

So many options.

You (the Giver) Are Done

If at any point you are no longer into giving the blow job or your mouth and jaw are tired, then be done. Don’t be afraid to your partner that. Remember it’s about your pleasure too.

Don’ts While Giving A Blow Job

These are things you will want to avoid your first time giving a blow job (really any time).

Bitting down or scraping their dick with your teeth

Unless they explicitly tell you that they are into this, avoid it altogether. Even if they are into it, if you are a beginner or someone who is getting used to giving blowjobs, ease into it.

It’s not a burrito.

Not Taking Your Time

If you are trying to act like a porn star your first time, I guarantee that you end up making a lot of mistakes and making it an unpleasant experience.

Like I said before: Go slow, pace yourself, and be consistent. Find a rhythm that both of you enjoy.

Focusing Only On The Shaft

Even though it may be your first time, and the whole experience is a bit overwhelming, don’t be afraid to explore the surrounding area.

You can use either your hands and your mouth at any one time. While your mouth is sucking and licking, your hands can be exploring their balls, or it can be the other way around.

If you feel like you want to and they are comfortable with it, you can explore their taint.

But if all of this sounds like too much, then don’t worry. All I am saying is don’t be afraid to check out the nearby attractions.

Head Pushing

This more goes out to the receiver instead of the giver, but I feel like it’s essential to cover. Knowing how uncomfortable and unenjoyable this act can make a blow job, don’t let anyone do it to you.

If you are choking and just not turned on or having fun anymore, and the person pushes your head down, tell them to fuck off.

It’s okay to push your limits, but make sure you are doing it on your terms.

Penis Anatomy

We are now going to familiarize ourselves with the basic anatomy of the penis.

This is essential information because you want to know what you are touching, licking, or sucking.

The Head

Otherwise known as the tip of the penis. It can be very sensitive, and it excretes fluids such as pre-cum, cum, and pee. 

Shaft

The body of the penis.

Frenulum

This is the top underside of the penis where the head and the shaft connect (Google picture now). It is a very sensitive area for many penis holders.

Very good to run your tongue over it.

Scrotum

Also known as the ball sack or testicles. They hang out underneath the penis and are known to be super sensitive.

Ask if they want attention to the area beforehand. Some people do not like it. If they are cool with it, be gentle, and explore away.

You can massage them with one or both hands while your mouth is on their dick. You can also lick them or kiss them periodically or even suck on them one at a time.

Perineum

Commonly known as the taint or the “dirty bridge,” it’s between the penis and the anus.

Only go if you are ready and if you have permission.

Foreskin

Only uncircumcised penises have this. The best way I can explain it is like a banana in its peel, and when it gets hard, they or you will peel it back and expose the banana itself.

Photo By Dainis Graveris

They can be all sorts of lengths, but they protect the penis and give it extra sensitivity.

The Ultimate Questions

All the burning questions you may have before getting to the part where you put your mouth on their penis.

Should I keep my clothes on or take them off?

Totally up to you and the vibes at the moment.

But consider the location first. If y’all are in a parking lot in the back of their parent’s Toyota Corolla, it may make things more difficult.

But if you are in a comfortable, safe space, then hell yeah, take it off.

During your make-out session, before you get on your knees (or whatever position is comfortable for you) would be ideal. This way, y’all can explore each other bodies before you go down on them.

Or you can take it off while performing.

Just do it if and when you feel comfortable.

What position should I be in?

This depends on you and the location you are at.

First and foremost, find a position that you are comfortable in. 

This can be on the bed where they are lying down, and you are hovering over them.

Another idea can have them standing with their back on a wall or sitting, and you are kneeling in between their knees.

What should I do with my hands?

The possibilities are endless! But since you may be a beginner, I am going to keep it simple.

So you can use them…

  1. During the blow job to go up and down their shaft while your mouth is licking and sucking.
  2. Play (gently) with their balls
  3. Keep it on their thighs to steady yourself.
  4. Stick it up their ass (if they are into it and want it)

Should I look at them while I’m blowing them?

Yes! Eye contact is very sexy and sends some people over the edge.

It shows that you are confident in what you are doing.

But remember, it’s not a staring contest. You can focus on the task at hand and glance at them every now and then or hold their gaze for a while.

Whatever feels right to you at the moment.

Should I wait for them to be completely hard before giving them a blow job?

If you want or play with it and watch it get hard (if they are cool with it).

By play with it, I mean you can tease them over their pants by lightly touching their crotch, massage their penis over their pants, or bring their pants down and give them a hand job until they get hard.

Or if you want, you can just put it in your mouth and suck gently on their flaccid penis and while they grow, let your lips go with their shaft until you get to the head.

What if I want to stop?

Then you stop.

It’s about your pleasure too, and if you are tired, then that’s okay.

You can move on to something else.

Do I have to deep throat?

You don’t have to do anything.

If you rush into doing this, you can accidentally end up traumatizing yourself.

You can still give a great blowjob without stuffing their junk down your throat.

What should my tongue do?

Like hands, the possibilities are endless with what you can do with your tongue.

You can use it to lick up and down the shaft. You can use it to swirl around the tip and the frenulum.

Do I spit or swallow?

Now this question is something you have to ask yourself,

What are you comfortable with?

Do you want to?

And I know the saying that “spitters are quitters,” but don’t let that pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do.

But I will say this if you let them cum in your mouth, it’s best to swallow because spitting it out is like experiencing it over again, and it’s not good.

There are plenty of other places they can cum.

Quick Tip: If you want them to cum in your mouth, and they are on the verge of cumming, stick their dick to the back of your throat (as far as you can go without choking). Once they cum you will swallow it quickly.

This reduces the amount you will have to taste and makes the process quicker.

But if you don’t want to swallow, THEN DON’T SWALLOW AND DON’T LET THEM PRESSURE YOU INTO DOING IT!

Trust me when I say they won’t like you more just because you swallowed their cum.

Things to Remember

Blow jobs are supposed to be fun, exciting, and super pleasurable for both parties.

It’s not about trying to get the other person to cum and be done. It’s about exploring and learning about each other’s bodies.

If you take anything away, let it be this: Go slow, pace yourself, and be consistent.

Everyone is different and will enjoy different things, and you are there to try something new.

But remember, if you don’t want to, you don’t have to.

Sources:

  1. Healthline|How To Give A Blowjob
  2. Advocate|24 Tips For Giving Amazing Head
  3. Huffpost|12 Oral Tips On How To Go Down On A Guy
  4. Refinery29|12 Tips to Help You Master Blow Jobs

Mía

Hi, I am Mia! I am Sex Education Enthusiast and I love bringing people the knowledge they need to make their sex lives better! I always preach that having a healthy sex life is a part of a healthy life overall.

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