4 Things I Wish I Knew Before Buying My First Sex Toy!

Oct, 28, 2021

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Ahhh, sex toys.

The toys that please adults and make life a little bit more bearable.

There is just something about having an orgasm in under 30 secs that makes life worth living.

In my field of work, I have come across numerous sex toys. Some I’ve loved, some don’t pique my interest, & some downright scare me.

But I always think back to the first time I bought a sex toy. There was so much I didn’t know and wished I did.

So I am here to impart that wisdom to you. This way, you don’t need to spend a lot of time and money searching for something that will get you off in 30 seconds or less.

Key Take-Aways

Just some things to keep in mind as you read this article.

  1. There are sex toys for everyone.
    • Whether you are male, female, or nonbinary, there is a sex toy for you. Just take your time to do your research and see what other people have tried. Also, don’t be afraid to try new toys. If you think you may like something, see if you can buy it.
  2. You may not love your first/every toy you buy.
    • It may take you a few tries to find something that you genuinely love and feel confident using. Every toy can get you off, but each toy has a unique way of doing it.
  3. It may be intimidating.
    • I was super intimidated using my first toy, and it wasn’t bigger than my finger. Just take your time and go slow. Start on the outside and work your way in (if that applies to you). Also, please don’t use it at its highest speed off the bat. Start at the lowest function and go from there.
  4. If you feel shame, don’t (I know. Easier said than done).
    • I think I was so afraid to use or buy a sex toy because I felt ashamed for having sexual desires and I truly believed that I needed a man to fulfill them. I grew up thinking that you should have sex only with a man because they will get you off. Let me tell you how wrong that thinking was. I quickly unlearned that myth and learned that my body is for me to enjoy, and I can share it with others if I want.

#1) Sex Toys Are Expensive

I like trying out and collecting sex toys but let me tell you this; it is an expensive hobby.

My first sex toy was a bullet vibrator. It was about the length of my finger and had eight different speeds and functions.

It was $30. 

Do you know how much $30 frickin’ dollars is to a college student?

A lot more than I realized because I charged it to my credit card, and I am still paying the interest on it!

A bullet vibrator is not that big, but it costs money.

I did not know that it would be so much. I was honestly shocked. But now, thinking about it more clearly, I am not surprised.

It’s a tiny machine in cute packaging.

Why do all adult toys have to be so much more expensive?

But I will say this. That bullet vibrator lasted me a long time. It was great, and got the job done quickly & efficiently.

As my collection has grown, I realized that all the best ones are at least $50 and above.

I have had a few different vibrators that cost me anywhere between $10-$20, and they all were horrible. They only lasted me a few weeks and would break down frequently.

So I would suggest saving money and investing in a really good sex toy. This way, you are not constantly spending money buying multiple crappy ones that will break down within a week.

Furthermore, the expense does not just apply to vibrators. This applies to the plethora of other sex toys available.

I bought a pink silicone dildo that cost me about $30. Then lube is $10, and cleaning supplies is another $10.

That’s $50 right there!

So it’s expensive. 

Prepare to drop some coin.

Related Article: The Glory Of Masturbation & What I Wish I Knew

#2) There are different types of sex toys

Remember when I stated that there are sex toys for everyone? Yeah, well, when I first started out buying sex toys, I was shocked about how many different types there are and how they all came in shapes and sizes.

Different Materials

I did not know that sex toys came in a multitude of materials. I have only ever boughten toys made from silicone. Imagine my surprise when I learned that there are some made from break-resistant glass for temperature play.

Young, inexperienced Mia did not know there was such thing as temperature play.

Other materials include:

  • Rubber
  • Plastic
  • Metal

Dildos vs. Vibrators

I know, I know. I should’ve known that there was a difference! But I didn’t.

I honestly thought that vibrators and dildos were the same things because some vibrators have penises attached to them.

But don’t worry, y’all, I have learned.

It turns out vibrators are “objects that vibrate to stimulate your genitals. They can be used to stimulate your clitoris (fan favorite), vulva, vagina, penis, scrotum, testicles, nipples, & anus.”

And dildos are “objects that go inside the vagina, anus, or mouth.” They mostly come in the shape of a penis but not always. Some of them are bendy so the user can move with them, and others are not.

So now I know the difference, and I own both types too.

Other Sex Toys

Sex Toy Types-CTM

I was genuinely unaware that there are so many different sex toys that work for various areas of the body. Like you can get a clit-sucker, a dildo, and some nipple clamps. Three distinct toys for three different places on your body!

Like I find that to be amazing (& costly)! Like can you imagine all those parts of your body being simultaneously stimulated?

Here are some other toys that blew my mind when I learned about them:

  • Cock rings
  • Strap-ons
  • Bondage kits
  • Pocket pussies/ sleeves
  • Butt plugs


While lubes aren’t actual toys, they are necessary to make some toys more pleasurable.

As with the discovery of the pocket pussies, I was amazed by the wide selection of lubes available.

There are regular water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based lubes.

Then you have your flavored lubes. These range from fruity to dessert. I own Strawberry Flavored Lube and Dulce De Leche Flavored Lube.

And then there are the warming and cooling lubes.

I haven’t had the chance to try them, but I hear horrible things about the warming lube if it gets in your vagina. One of my friends described it as having a fire up there.

So proceed with caution and read the labels.

Pro Tip: Some lubes pair better with certain materials.

#3) You need to train up before jumping to a bigger size

Once I was done with my bullet vibrator, I decided it was time to get something better with dual action.

So I got a vibrator shaped like a 5-inch penis and had the butterfly wings at the top. I called it Frank after the character on “How to Get Away With Murder.”

I thought I could handle Frank. The toy was bigger and wider than the bullet, but I thought, “Hey, I’ve had sex with someone with a dick bigger than this. I can take it.”

I could not take it. Frank did not make me feel good at all. Well, the butterfly wings did, but that’s not the point.

The point is that I jumped the gun too early.

I didn’t take my time to prepare my vagina for 5 inches of hard silicone that did not bend.

Real penises are not as cold and unmovable as the toys that are made.

So like anal, don’t jump-start onto a 6-inch dick without some practice. Maybe go up a size in the bullet vibrator or start with a small dildo.

Dildos have a lot of bend to them and are made of softer materials.

Moral of the story: Train your vagina.

Related Article: 5 Big Don’ts to Avoid During Anal Sex

#4) You have to clean your sex toy

See, I knew you had to clean your sex toys, but I didn’t understand what that meant.

I thought you just run it under some water, and boom, it’s clean.

That’s not the case at all.

sex toy relationship-ctm

It turns out you can use soap and water to clean your sex toys, but that makes me paranoid. What if I have a terrible reaction to the soap or use too much water and break my toy?

A word of warning: Make sure you know which toys are waterproof and which aren’t.

To dispel the paranoia, I bought some toy cleaner.

You should be cleaning your toy after every use, but I don’t because I am lazy, and that would take the fun out of it. So I just wash it once a week.

Moreover, don’t think you don’t need to wash your toy because you are the only user. It can still build up bacteria and cause an infection. This is especially relevant if you are sharing a toy with someone. It’s actually a great way to spread an STI if you don’t clean it.

Lastly, you need to clean your toy if you use it in your anus and vagina. You do not want the bacteria from your anus getting into your vagina.

That is like a guaranteed infection.

So take the time out to clean them.

Related Article: What Is A Safe Sex Strategy & Why You Need One!

Do Your Research

As I said, sex toys are great. I love them and love trying them.

I like seeing how my body reacts to a new toy, and they make my life that much better.

While I still don’t know everything about them, I think it is important to educate yourself before spending $50 on something you don’t exactly love.

So do your research. Read reviews of the toys, read reviews from the place you are going to buy them, and see how your body reacts to the thought of purchasing a specific toy.

It’s a great way to learn and educate yourself more about what you think you might like and what you actually like.


Planned Parenthood| Sex toys


Hi, I am Mia! I am Sex Education Enthusiast and I love bringing people the knowledge they need to make their sex lives better! I always preach that having a healthy sex life is a part of a healthy life overall.

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